About Reflections On Counseling

 

Why This Blog


I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who practiced psychotherapy for over four decades, beginning in 1982. For most of those years, I worked from a cognitive-behavioral perspective, helping people better understand the connection between their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Over time, I became increasingly convinced of a simple but powerful idea: the way we think strongly shapes how we feel, how we relate to others, and how we pursue our goals.

Reflections on Counseling grew out of that conviction.

This blog offers practical ideas for emotional clarity, resilience, and growth. Drawing from cognitive-behavioral psychology, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), and related research on mindset and explanatory style, these reflections explore how our interpretations influence both our struggles and our potential.

Although many of the ideas discussed here have roots in psychotherapy, this site is educational in nature. I am no longer providing ongoing therapy services. The purpose of this blog is to share perspectives that readers may find helpful in their own efforts to think more clearly and live more intentionally.

If you are seeking professional mental health care, please consult a licensed provider in your area.

Popular posts from this blog

The ABCDE Model: How to Understand and Change Your Emotional Responses

Many of my sessions are structured around the ABCDE model of therapy, developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). This model helps us understand how our thoughts influence our emotions and behaviors—and how we can change them. The Five Components of the ABCDE Model A: Adverse Event An adverse event is anything we perceive as upsetting or problematic. It might relate to the past, present, or future. Examples include losing a job, being criticized, or anticipating a stressful situation. B: Beliefs Albert Ellis made the observation that extreme and rigid core beliefs are at the heart of psychological dysfunction. He recognized that there are healthy core beliefs that facilitate our psychological functioning but When we are faced with an adverse event, we automatically interpret and evaluate it. These evaluations—how bad, unfair, or intolerable we think something is—are what lead to our emotional and behavioral responses. Our evaluations stem fr...
Read more

Emotional Responsibility: A Difficult But Transformative Concept

Emotional responsibility is the idea that, to a large extent, our emotions are shaped by how we interpret what happens. Most of us assume emotions are caused directly by events—“I got angry because I was passed over for a promotion,” or “I’m anxious because I have to meet with my boss today.” This kind of cause-and-effect explanation is common, but cognitive psychology offers a different, well researched, perspective. It suggests there’s a brief mental space between the moment we perceive an event and the moment we feel an emotion. In that space, we interpret what is happening and form an opinion about it—labeling it as good, bad, annoying, horrible, and so on. Our emotional response depends on that evaluation. An event judged as a minor inconvenience will trigger a very different reaction than one seen as a major threat. Importantly, a complete or accurate understanding of the event isn’t necessary—our emotions respond to the meaning and opinion we attach to the event, which can somet...
Read more

Healthy Negative Emotions: Why Feeling Bad Isn’t Always Bad

  A common misconception about therapy is that its goal is to eliminate negative, uncomfortable emotions. However, one of the key insights from cognitive psychology is this: negative emotions can be healthy—and even beneficial. They are part of our biological makeup and serve important, adaptive functions. The goal isn’t to get rid of these emotions but to understand them better so we can use them to our advantage. Unhealthy vs. Healthy Negative Emotions Cognitive psychology shows that unhealthy emotions—such as anxiety, depression, guilt, and rage—usually arise from dysfunctional beliefs. These beliefs tend to be rigid, extreme, or unrealistic. As a result, the emotions they trigger are intense, overwhelming, and unproductive, often leading to avoidance, paralysis, or self-defeating behaviors. In contrast, healthy negative emotions—like concern, sadness, remorse, and frustration—stem from realistic and flexible beliefs. These emotions are still painful and uncomfortable but remain...
Read more