Reflections On Counseling

In our previous article, we explored the ABCDE Model, a powerful tool from Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) that helps us understand the connection between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Now, let's see how this model could be used in a fictional, but fairly common real life scenario. The characters and scenario are entirely fictional. The ABCDE Model in Action A: Adverse Event Sarah, a marketing professional, reported that she had been working for months on a major project, hoping it would lead to a long-awaited promotion. When the announcement came, her colleague, Mark, received the promotion instead. B: Beliefs Sarah’s initial thoughts were: “I’m shocked. This is completely unfair!” “I should have been promoted—I’ve worked harder than anyone!” “I’m a complete failure.” When exploring core beliefs underlying these thoughts, Sarah identified: “I must always succeed and be recognized. If not, I’m a failure.” “Others should always respect me. If they don’t, they’re ab...

Many of my sessions are structured around the ABCDE model of therapy, developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). This model helps us understand how our thoughts influence our emotions and behaviors—and how we can change them. The Five Components of the ABCDE Model A: Adverse Event An adverse event is anything we perceive as upsetting or problematic. It might relate to the past, present, or future. Examples include losing a job, being criticized, or anticipating a stressful situation. B: Beliefs Albert Ellis made the observation that extreme and rigid core beliefs are at the heart of psychological dysfunction. He recognized that there are healthy core beliefs that facilitate our psychological functioning but When we are faced with an adverse event, we automatically interpret and evaluate it. These evaluations—how bad, unfair, or intolerable we think something is—are what lead to our emotional and behavioral responses. Our evaluations stem fr...

  Another valuable concept for understanding how we function psychologically is the cognitive triangle —the dynamic interaction between what we think, what we feel, and what we do. Many people believe that emotions simply happen to us, or that external events directly cause our feelings and actions. We hear phrases like, “He made me mad,” or “Interviews make me nervous,” which suggest that events are the direct cause of our emotional and behavioral reactions. But that’s not quite accurate. A Common Event, Different Responses Consider this scenario: three individuals each receive the exact same piece of paper in the mail—a divorce notification. Person A jumps for joy, calls friends, and plans a celebratory night out. Person B rips up the papers in a fit of rage, screams in frustration, and punches a wall. Person C sits down, begins to cry, and isolates themselves for two days, feeling consumed by loss. The activating event—the divorce notice—was identical for al...

There are many different ways of explaining why we feel and behave the way we do. One of the more practical and simple explanations has to do with three components: our biological predispositions, our developmental history, and our cognitive framework- how we interpret and evaluate our experiences. Our Biological Predispositions This first component is about the way we're put together by nature. Similar to our physical characteristics, human beings have different biological tendencies when it comes to how we feel and act. Some of us experience our emotions more often, more intensely, and for longer periods of time than others do. Behaviorally, some of us are more energetic and active than others. The good news is that these biological tendencies are more manageable today than ever before. Since the 1980s, a broad range of pharmaceutical and therapeutic interventions have emerged, making it much easier to maximize the benefits of our biological predispositions and minimize their lim...