Start Here: A Guide to Reflections on Counseling


Welcome to Reflections on Counseling. This blog offers a concise and practical introduction to core ideas in cognitive behavioral therapy, especially Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT). The articles below are listed in the order I recommend for clients and other interested readers.

Articles

Why We Feel & Act the Way We Do

The Cognitive Triangle

The ABCDE Model


Why Feeling Bad Isn't Always Bad: Understanding Healthy But Negative Emotions

About This Blog

This blog is intended to be a resource for clients and others who want a clear, brief, and usable way to apply ideas from therapy to real life.

Popular posts from this blog

Why We Feel & Act The Way We Do: Three Influences

There are many different ways of explaining why we feel and behave the way we do. One of the more practical and simple explanations has to do with three components: our biological predispositions, our developmental history, and our cognitive framework- how we interpret and evaluate our experiences. Our Biological Predispositions This first component is about the way we're put together by nature. Similar to our physical characteristics, human beings have different biological tendencies when it comes to how we feel and act. Some of us experience our emotions more often, more intensely, and for longer periods of time than others do. Behaviorally, some of us are more energetic and active than others. The good news is that these biological tendencies are more manageable today than ever before. Since the 1980s, a broad range of pharmaceutical and therapeutic interventions have emerged, making it much easier to maximize the benefits of our biological predispositions and minimize their lim...
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The Cognitive Triangle

  Another valuable concept for understanding how we function psychologically is the cognitive triangle —the dynamic interaction between what we think, what we feel, and what we do. Many people believe that emotions simply happen to us, or that external events directly cause our feelings and actions. We hear phrases like, “He made me mad,” or “Interviews make me nervous,” which suggest that events are the direct cause of our emotional and behavioral reactions. But that’s not quite accurate. A Common Event, Different Responses Consider this scenario: three individuals each receive the exact same piece of paper in the mail—a divorce notification. Person A jumps for joy, calls friends, and plans a celebratory night out. Person B rips up the papers in a fit of rage, screams in frustration, and punches a wall. Person C sits down, begins to cry, and isolates themselves for two days, feeling consumed by loss. The activating event—the divorce notice—was identical for al...
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Understanding Fear: From Concern to Anxiety to Panic

Understanding Fear: From Concern to Anxiety to Panic Fear is a natural and essential part of being human. It arises when we believe that something bad might happen—usually in the near future. The threat may involve physical harm to ourselves or loved ones, but it can also target our ego, identity, or sense of worth. While fear is uncomfortable, it's not something to eliminate. In therapy, the goal is not to suppress fear, but to guide its appropriate and helpful expression. To respond to fear in a healthy, functional way, we need to understand the role of evaluation in our cognitive processes. Varieties of Fear and Their Purpose Fear varies in intensity, duration, and frequency. Here are some commonly experienced types: Concern – A mild, rational awareness of potential problems that helps us plan and take precautions. Alertness – Heightened focus and readiness to respond. Worry – Persistent thoughts about uncertain outcomes. Apprehension – Uneasy anticipation prompting caution....
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